Cooking Up a Cure

As you can imagine, the topic of food comes up a lot in client sessions. Over or under indulgence in food are extremes that many of us use to cope when we are stressed or unhappy. Unfortunately, over time this strategy results in health problems, sometimes life-threatening ones. Although challenging, especially in our “super-size-me culture”, it is important to find balance and peace of mind in our relationship with food.

If you were hoping to read about how to eat for optimal physical and mental health, you can check out my post The Power of the Gut-Brain Connection . There you will find plenty of ways to improve your physical and mental health through food.

Today, I want to share my thoughts about food and mood from a different perspective. It is a cold February Sunday in Connecticut, and I was inspired by the many references made to pork shoulder in an engaging and thought-provoking novel I finished recently, Kitchens of the Great Midwest  (J. Ryan Stradal). I wanted to try pork shoulder because it is especially suited to how I like to cook on Winter Sundays- I get a stew or soup going by mid-day and enjoy the smell and anticipation of the meal to come.

If you are familiar with pork shoulder you know it is NOT a low-fat meat and likely has never been used in the same sentence with the word “healthy”.  Cooking an indulgence like this is where “balance” comes in. Healthy eating most days and meals of the week leaves room for most us for an occasional treat.

This kind of pleasure is incredibly worthwhile on many levels. First, food fully engages our senses. Good smells, tastes, textures and new flavor combinations are fantastic for our mood and can even reduce anxiety. Food is often visually appealing, and taking in the color and shapes of a beautiful dish is wonderfully calming for our busy brains.

Cooking for ourselves and others is a healing act of self-care and love.

I can still remember the sweet smell of vanilla-laced sugar cookies baking as I worked side by side with my grandmother, who thrilled me as an eight-year-old when she gave me an apron “like hers”. I loved it even more when she had me roll out the dough or sprinkle colored sugar on the cookies. This nurturing childhood memory has become a lovely piece of my decades long narrative around family and food.

I try to continue the tradition of sharing love by enjoying conversation with family and friends by preparing and sharing a fragrant, tasty meal whenever possible. It’s a fantastic respite that slows the passage of time and restores me from the demands of busy work days.   

If you don’t have good memories connecting food and love, I enthusiastically encourage you to take some baby steps towards creating some. The abundance of online recipes, complete with video demonstrations, make it easy to learn how to cook or, for accomplished cooks, to learn new skills and recipes. If you live alone or your family migrates to their own corners to eat, or eats at different times, shake things up and invite someone to join you. Try meals from different cultures and you may discover a love of a spice or an herb that is new to you and a recipe to add to your regular rotation.  

Here’s to finding more satisfaction and connection through food. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to excuse myself to join my husband to break bread and try Peruvian Pork Stew with Chilies, Lime and Apples.

Be well,

Laura

photo by Joanie Simon, food blogger

Anxiety or Imposter?

We all experience some degree of anxiety in our lifetime. It can range from mild and time-limited, such as nervousness before a test, to debilitating and pervasive, such as struggling daily to leave home. Anxiety is one of the top reasons people seek therapy. Fortunately, therapists have made great strides in the past two decades in our knowledge of how anxiety affects the brain and the body, and how to treat it effectively.

I have worked with clients who came to therapy with different experiences of anxiety: panic attacks, being scared to be alone, being afraid of bridges, and living in fear of throwing up in public. Other clients suffer horribly from frequently being in a general state of high anxiety. 

Anxiety can make us miserable

What is heartening is that with a combination of relaxation techniques, cognitive strategies, and exposure therapy, most of my clients got better within a few months. Sometimes, however, these strategies have not helped clients. Several times the client and I have identified that their anxiety was actually a decoy.

This may sound strange, but anxiety is actually easier for some of us to experience than our emotions. Most of the time, when treatments for anxiety are ineffective, it becomes apparent that clients are struggling deeply with grief, a painful decision, or depression. Once the client and I agree that there is more going on than anxiety, we can get to work on strategies to help them face the underlying issues. It requires work, but clients report a decrease in anxiety within a few weeks of beginning to recognize and experience their emotions. 

If you suffer from anxiety and have struggled to feel better,  try to identify if you have been avoiding a difficult emotion or decision. If you think this is a possibility, spend 15 minutes at a set time every day for a week allowing yourself to "feel" that emotion or discomfort. Hopefully you will begin to feel better. If not, you may benefit from a few visits with a therapist or counselor. Don't let anxiety, real or imposter, keep you from enjoying life.


Please let me know if you suffer from anxiety, and what techniques help you feel better by commenting on this blog post.

Be well-

Laura

Information Overload: Is Choosing How to De-Stress Stressing You Out?

Finding time to relax is hard enough, and to make matters worse, every lifestyle magazine cover, newspaper or TV newscast has different suggestions for managing stress. Here's some soothing news: results of a study in Behavior and Research Therapy (August 2010) show that breathing is the most effective relaxation strategy. Compared to progressive muscle relaxation and meditation, mindful breathing was the most calming activity.  A stand-out result of the study was how well mindful breathing helped reduce anxious thinking and limit the ability of negative thoughts to upset study participants.

If you have never tried breathing for relaxation, Dr. Andrew Weill gives great instructions:

This exercise is utterly simple, takes almost no time, requires no equipment and can be done anywhere. Although you can do the exercise in any position, sit with your back straight while learning the exercise. Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
• Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four (your belly should expand).
  
• Hold your breath for a count of seven.
• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight (your belly should contract as it pushes out the air).
• This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

Note that you always inhale quietly through your nose and exhale audibly through your mouth. The tip of your tongue stays in position the whole time. Exhalation takes twice as long as inhalation. The absolute time you spend on each phase is not important; the ratio of 4:7:8 is important. If you have trouble holding your breath, speed the exercise up but keep to the ratio of 4:7:8 for the three phases. With practice you can slow it all down and get used to inhaling and exhaling more and more deeply.

Take a moment to relax and breath

 This exercise is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. Unlike tranquilizing drugs, which are often effective when you first take them but then lose their power over time, this exercise is subtle when you first try it but gains in power with repetition and practice. Two times a day is a great goal, and you cannot do it too frequently. Do not do more than four breaths at one time for the first month of practice. Later, if you wish, you can extend it to eight breaths. If you feel a little lightheaded when you first breathe this way, do not be concerned; it will pass.

Once you develop this technique by practicing it every day, it will be a very useful tool that you will always have with you. Use it whenever anything upsetting happens - before you react. Use it whenever you are aware of internal tension. Use it to help you fall asleep. This exercise cannot be recommended too highly. Everyone can benefit from it.

Be well, and just breathe...

Laura 

Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing (The Self Healing Series) by Dr. Andrew Weil

Give Anxiety the Axe

We all struggle with anxiety from time to time. When anxiety gets the best of me, I try to remind myself of some basic tips, many of which are in this helpful article from our friends at Real Simple magazine:


10 Ways to Cope With Anxiety



Be well,
Laura